Quick background. My favorite news site is fark.com. It’s an aggregator, much like google news, drawing articles from thousands of different sources. In addition to being a news site, it’s also a user-based community. The main page lists headlines that have been submitted by users. So the headlines on fark.com are different from the actual headlines, but still summarize the article. For example, the first headline below (about American obesity) actually linked to a Newsweek article with the headline, “Is the Recession Making Americans Fatter?”
Sharks can be "cuddled like Dolphins", according to Dr Stumpy McStumperson from the institute of really bad ideas
Glacier threatens capital city of Bolivia, sparking warnings that people may one day have to walk for their lives
Experts warn that the Internet is running out of bandw
Good language skills in your youth may stave off Alzheimer's later. Good news for us people who have a way with words, not so much for those of you who...um...not have way, I guess
350-year-old skeleton discovered in England. Fans gather in hopes of hearing latest rendition of Like a Virgin
Sea turtle that lost flippers to shark attack fitted with artificial flippers so it can be attacked by shark again
Jehovah's Witnesses more likely to die in childbirth. Also more likely to be standing in doorway in event of earthquake
Astronomers are getting a close-up look at a cosmic eating machine that devours the mass equivalent of two Earths per hour and in the past has replaced Shelley Long on "Cheers"
Scientists discover first vegetarian spider, easily identified as the one shunned by other spiders and getting picked on by ants
Elementary school kids run through blocking and tackling drills with the Detroit Lions. Advice and encouragement were given, as well as physical fitness pointers. Hopefully the Lions learned something
Bolivian animal rights activists succeed in banning circuses from using animals, but now have to figure out what to do with 22 useless lions, a problem Detroit has faced for years
Before you get all outraged that Michael Vick is only getting a 4 game suspension, take note that it's a 28 game suspension in dog years
Kevin Costner and wife give birth to baby boy. Labor took three hours, cost $150 million, and was panned by the critics
Jessica Rabbit voted cartoon sex bomb, followed closely by Betty Boop, because every guy's fantasy is a head like a deformed potato with no chin who talks like a 9-year-old with Down's syndrome
Tired of her blowing away all the time, Harrison Ford puts large metal ring on Calista Flockhart
Michael Jackson's autopsy underway. Coroner struggling with first question: "Race: __________"
Shrek sidekick Donkey voted the most-loved movie animal, slightly ahead of Joan Cusack
Rosie O'Donnell denies that her partner has somehow escaped her gravitational field
Former ABC anchor Carole Simpson says legitimate TV news is dying. We'll have more on this story after a Jon and Kate Plus 8 update, and it looks like Britney and Li-Lo are at it again
To honor her brother, Janet Jackson will wear black for a year. If she really wanted to honor him, she would slowly fade it to white
Six Flags on the verge of filing Chapter 11. Restructuring terms will force debt collectors to stand in a gigantic zig-zag line for hours, only to have the check printing machine break down when they're next in line
Car manfacturers are listening to proposals to equip cars with social networking technology like Facebook. What could pos.... Michael is wrapped around a tree
Live Nation to acquire Ticketmaster for $2.5 billion, plus $700 million in convenience charges
General Motors bankruptcy inevitable. GM shares set to fall like a rock. OOOOOOHHHHH like a rock
Applications to the top liberal-arts schools drop 20% as students realize there is no longer any need to earn a Liberal Arts degree to remain unemployable
Citigroup analyst weighs in on which banks need to raise capital after recent stress test, which is kind of like a blind guy telling you your girlfriend is ugly
Target profit beats estimates on news that people are still willing to pay 20% more than Walmart for the same stuff on clean floors
MySpace slashes itself by 30%, a move that resonates with its user base
Clear Channel posts $3.7B loss. I'd explain more, but I have to cut to 10 minutes of commercials, followed by the new Nickelback song
New Gallup poll reveals Cheney is more popular than Pelosi, much in the same way that prostate exams are more popular than colonoscopies
Cheney accuses Obama of politicizing the Justice Department. Cheney. Accuses Obama. Of politicizing the Justice Department
Obama declares swine flu a national emergency, eyes Nobel Prize in Medicine
New Jersey likely to legalize medical marijuana, which can help to alleviate the pain of having to live in New Jersey
Carpenters face higher-than-average asbestos death rate, higher-than-average resurrection rate
