Saturday, March 06, 2010

Sometimes I Forget

The other night Leyla and I went to Fred Meyer to pick up a few things. I went to check out, got everything scanned, reached for my purse only to realize my debit card was sitting on top of my chest of drawers at home. Did I mention how everything was scanned, cashier waiting for payment, line of people behind me? Sad huh? What's sad is that's probably happened to me at least 3 other times in the past year.

We've been trying to make a week long menu before we go grocery shopping each week. We've only done it for a few weeks now but it seems to get easier each week. We go grocery shopping on Friday or Saturday and we tend to plan our best meals for the weekend because by the end of the week we've somehow depleted our entire stock of food. I must have been feeling extra ambitious this week because on the menu for Sunday was german pancakes for breakfast and baked salmon for lunch. I seriously dreamed about the upcoming feast all night Saturday. The kids all slept in, no one woke up until after 8 am, what a perfect way to start the morning. As I was just really waking up Nick turns to me and announces that it was fast Sunday. Of course it was. My mind quickly raced back to my New Year's the one where I was glad we had 1 o'clock church because it would help me have a meaningful fast each and every month. Was it too early in the year to give that one up? After church we ate turkey pot pie, and no, it will not be on the menu again.

I forget a lot of things. I forget where I put my keys, I forget the load of wet laundry waiting to be dried, I then forget to push the button to start the dryer. I forget that 3 hours of church is too long for Leyla to go without a bottle or her binki- and they're both sitting on the kitchen counter...and we've walked the 6 blocks to church that day. I forget that it's after 8 pm, my kids remind me we haven't had dinner yet, and they haven't had a shower in two days, oh and their bedtime is 8 o'clock. But those are the small things, at least I try to remind myself that those are the small things.

I forget that just 5 years ago I became a mom. That it was the craziest, most wonderful, inexperienced day of my life. I would forget that I had kids because for two months they were in the hospital, but once they were home I didn't think I could ever forget my children. I did though. I forgot my baby girl in the car that was only a few weeks old. I didn't make it into the house before our friends reminded me of the precious cargo I had just forgotten. Humiliating. I forget that my boys will start school this fall, that maybe I haven't taught them enough, and that I haven't played with them enough.

Sometimes I forget to say family prayer before bed, but my kids remind me. Sometimes I forget to read my scriptures, the Spirit tries to remind me, but I don't always listen. Sometimes I forget to pray for my husband, my kids, myself, and I wonder if life wouldn't be so hard if I would just remember to do these things, to not forget.


Ashlee said...

Kara, I seriously teared up reading that. I think sometimes we all forget. But maybe that's what reminds us to enjoy each day and stop worrying about the things we forget.

I think Amelia kinda looks like Leyla in that picture. Now that she's getting chub, she looks more like a baby and not a newborn. It all goes so fast. I almost forgot how teeny tiny those boys were. Look at them now! What a miracle.

I'm jealous that you know how to cook salmon. You'll have to teach me when you're here- it sounds good but I'm pretty much back at chicken and ground beef. Sad, huh?

Can't wait to see you guys! I have a long list of things to do. I'll email you. If I don't forget. :)

Kayleen said...

what an honest post! Sometimes I forget that other people are moms and go through hard times too, so thanks Kara!

Kim said...

Loved this post Kara. And that picture is perfect. Can't wait to see you guys!

Adam & Leesha Wickern said...

all I can really say is AMEN Sister!!

Mommydew said...

I can completely relate to this post. It was a wonderful read, thanks!

Curtis and Crystal Emery said...

Kara, that was an awesome post. Funny that now I'm a mom I do relate. I always REMEMBER...but not anymore. It's also amazing to me,looking at the boys, how similar our experiences were. Who would have thought all those years ago that both of our first children would have been hooked up to all those IVs, the nasal cannula, and the pulse oxymeter. If nothing else it just makes me realize we became friend 13 or 14 years ago it was for a reason. I'm so glad we are friends and I am glad you forget. It makes you more human :)

Heather Johnson said...

This was by far my favourite post you have ever done. So so honest and beautiful.
Also, that last picture is excellent. I showed...probably more people than you would have wanted me to. But I'm not sorry, it's great!
See you in two weeks!

Nedra said... are the best mom and wife ever! Don't ever under estimate the things that you do do! We are all guilty of doing way worse than those things you did, we are just too embarrassed to admit and look at you? I love you more than you will ever know. I am very excited about having you come NEXT WEEK! We are going to play and NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH FUN WE HAVE!!!!

Ashlee Scherer said...

Kara when Brylee was 4 months old I forgot!! I was going to drop her off at the babysitters and then go to the chiropractor but she feel asleep so I just took her with me. I got out and went into the office and the doctor hooked me up to that shock machine to relax my muscles. I laid there for a few minutes and then flew off the table and ran outside. 3 people, including the doctor followed me cause they had no idea why I flew off the table. Did I mention it was at least 95 degrees on a hot August day. I was truly worried I had killed my baby. Luckily I was at a doctors office and he gave her an exam and she was fine. I asked him if he was going to call social services and take my baby away. I was devastated and only now after 4 years can actually talk about it. Yes we all forget and I am so thankful that the Lord protects and blesses us all, especially our little ones. I love ya and you are a great mom.